Anal sex between men and women has been around for millennia. From early paintings, erotic drawings, sculpture and pottery depicting men performing anal sex on women, it is clear that these ancient civilizations not only enjoyed but celebrated the pleasurable penetration of that delightful little bud. With the rise in popularity of anal sex within the last few decades, it seems that today’s couples, like their ancestors before them, have recognized the eroticism and sexual potency of backdoor play.

1892 lithograph by Paul Avril depicting male-to-female anal sex

1892 lithograph by Paul Avril
depicting male-to-female anal sex

For some men, the novelty, rarity and kinkiness of venturing into the tight forbidden zone of a female partner is what makes anal sex so appealing; while others enjoy the feeling of dominance and possession that can be triggered. Men often see anal sex as a rare and special gift from women that is given out of love and a desire to please.

For women, anal sex encourages them to be more sexually adventurous, more sensuous and more orgasmic. It allows her to openly display a desire and willingness to enjoy raw, primal sex. When women engage in anal sex, it often comes from a place of substantial trust and love for her male partner.

It may be men who are most obsessed with anal sex but it is women who can derive the most sexual pleasure from it. In women, the rear tunnel lies next to the vaginal canal and the sphincter is actually part of the web of sensitive clitoral and G-spot tissue. Stimulation of this deeper area can provide a delectable new sense of pressure and fullness.The anus, richly endowed with nerve endings and interconnected with the main pelvic muscles, is the closest erogenous neighbor of the genitals and contracts rhythmically during orgasm. No wonder so many women report having their best and strongest orgasms from anal sex!


De-bunking the Anal Sex Myths

  1. Anal sex will hurt. When indulging in anal sex, women need to appreciate the difference between pain and the physical sensations that are new and unusual.  With time and experience, the initial strange feeling typically evolves into a new kind of sexual pleasure. Keep in mind that when a penis is introduced into the anus, the anal muscles go into spasm. Pain will result if the male partner does not wait for these muscles to relax so men need to wait a few moments before thrusting. If the sensations are painful instead of unusual, couples should stop immediately and try to determine what is causing the pain. They should not engage in anal sex again until the problem and possible remedy are discovered.
  2. Anal sex is unhygienic and dirty. The primary function of the rectum is to act as a passageway for poop. But poop is not normally stored in the rectum except just before a bowel movement; although small amounts may stay in the rectum if the poop is not well formed. Women should empty their rectum before anal sex. For those individuals especially concerned with cleanliness, a soapy shower or anal douching beforehand can alleviate their concerns.
  3. Anal sex is dangerous. Anal sex is perfectly safe and will not result in physical injury provided both partners never use force or allow pain to be unduly tolerated. Men should make sure their nails are trimmed and hands are clean if they plan on manual stimulation beforehand. Any dangerous parasites or bacteria usually found in poop can be completely avoided during anal sex by cleaning the area beforehand, using a condom and NEVER EVER entering the woman’s vagina or mouth afterwards. This is an absolute must!


8 Essential Keys for Back Door Pleasure

  1. Make sure she is highly aroused first. A high-level of arousal invigorates the rectum making it much more receptive to touch and penetration. So lavish her with plenty of foreplay and indulge in some anal play beforehand. Be sure to keep up the genital and buttock caresses during anal sex too as it comforts, distracts and forges the entire pelvic area into one fiery furnace.
  2. Be patient and take it slow. Unlike the vagina, the rectum does not stretch so even with a gentle, unhurried touch, it will take time for the shy and tender rear flower to relax and blossom. For initial stimulation, men should begin by inserting one lubricated finger gently and leave it there without moving it. This allows her outer sphincter muscle to relax. When she is ready, he can begin pumping his finger in and out. He should whisper encouraging and erotic words to elevate her arousal and anchor pleasure to what he is doing. He can then insert another finger. Men can also try “tickling” around the rim which can help his female partner relax her sphincter and adjust to the sensation. Well-lubricated anal plugs can also be used. No matter what is put inside her rear tunnel – finger, anal plug or penis – it needs to go in very slowly and come out very slowly. Most people understand the former, but don’t realize that anything pulled quickly from the rectum can cause extreme discomfort and even physical damage. 
  3. Lubricate. Lubricate. Lubricate. The rectum is not self-lubricating so some sort of anointing is necessary. Water-based lubricant is your best choice although couples have used saliva or vaginal fluids in a pinch. Men should be ready to re-lubricate if penetration goes on longer than a few minutes. When it comes to anal sex, lubrication can never be applied too much or too often. Finally, couples should never use a lubricant like “Anal Ease” as it will numb her anus preventing her from noticing any pain and possible damage.
  4. If using a condom… Couples should select latex condoms that are labeled “durable” because anal sex will put extra pressure on a condom; which can cause it to break. Use plenty of lubricant. Avoid using ribbed or studded condoms; the extra resistance is not needed.
  5. Choose a comfortable sexual position. Unlike the vagina, the anus is a gentle S-shaped curve. Once inside, men should aim his penis toward her backbone. Spooning or doggy-style is a good position when first attempting anal penetration. Later, couples can try other positions and angles to decide what feels best. Many sex positions used with vaginal intercourse can also be used for anal sex.
  6. Breathe deeply and bear down. There is a natural tendency to hold your breath and clench your little bud when it is about to be breached. To ease penetration during anal sex, women should breathe deeply to help them relax.  Also, the woman should push her anal muscles out like she is about to have a bowel movement when the man starts penetration.This will help temporarily relax her sphincter.
  7. Never have anal sex when intoxicated. The rectum is more easily damaged by sloppy sex than other body parts. Anal sex takes preparation requiring both partners to be alert and sober.   
  8. If first you don’t succeed, try again.  There is a physiological reason anal penetration can be difficult. There are actually two anal sphincters – one under voluntary control, that women can consciously relax and another under involuntary control, which requires dilation with a finger or toy to be relaxed so couples shouldn’t get discouraged if anal penetration doesn’t take place the first try. It can take several attempts to learn proper preparation and relaxation to ensure success. Couples need to be patient and willing to try again at a later time.

Not long ago, oral sex was considered taboo but today it has become a fully acceptable and commonly practiced sexual act. Anal sex is simply yet another outdated taboo that also needs to be discarded. Are you game? ♥

8 comments on “Anal Sex: A Road Map to Back Door Pleasure

  1. Wallace Craddieth

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  6. Kendall

    My husband and I just started experimenting with this in the shower and I found some of your tips to be very helpful and informative. Thank you :)

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