There is something deliciously erotic and forbidden about watching your partner indulge in self-pleasuring. Couples who engage in this most private of sex acts while together will not only satisfy any voyeuristic and exhibitionist tendencies they may have; they can build greater intimacy and trust between them as well.

When we indulge in self-pleasuring, we let go of our sexual inhibitions and simply focus on achieving erotic bliss. By allowing our partner to openly witness our sensual self-touch; we give them the perfect opportunity to learn precisely where to touch, how to touch and what kinds of touch feel most sexually satisfying to us – all without having to say a word.

To fully reap the erotic benefits of mutual self-touch, both partners will first need to be relaxed enough masturbating on their own before doing it in front of an audience. Only when you have both spent time getting to know your own bodies through self-pleasuring, should you move on to mutual masturbation.

From Solo Sex to Mutual Masturbation in 4 Easy Steps

For those individuals who may feel a bit daunted or embarrassed not only admitting to their partner that they masturbate but actually showing them what they do, take heart.  A whopping 99 per cent of people would love to know how a partner touches themselves sexually. Here is how you can go from solo sex to mutual masturbation in 4 easy steps.

1. Let them in on a sexy little secret

  • Masturbate when your partner is home. Simply whisper into their ear that you are going to take some private time, sharing a few erotic details so your partner will be able to visualize your plans. This thrilling secret will no doubt rev up your lover’s libido too.

2. Introduce a little solo act during foreplay

  • If you are a little self-conscious about touching yourself in front of your partner, choose a time or place when you can dim the lights slightly and add some relaxing, mood music.
  • Remember that the objective is not necessarily to bring yourself to orgasm but rather to get comfortable arousing yourself through self-touch in front of your partner.
  • When things are really heating up during foreplay, whisper to your partner that you would like to show them how you touch yourself. Relax in their arms, lie back and slowly start your solo play.
  • During foreplay, seductively suggest to your partner that you would like them to show you how they prefer to be touched by touching themselves. If they are a little hesitant, tell them they can use your hands to start.
  • Without mentioning a word, start self-pleasuring during foreplay. Your partner will soon catch on to the fact that you are stroking yourself. Touch yourself lightly and sensually. Let them know that it would really turn you on if they watch.  After a few minutes, urge your partner to touch themselves by letting them know what a turn on it would be for you to watch them.
  • Consider adding a vibrator to your foreplay and let your partner watch you pleasure yourself with it.


3. Side by side. When you are comfortable enough masturbating in front of your partner during foreplay, you are ready to move on to doing it together side by side.

  • The side-by-side technique is great for couples who are not yet ready for the full frontal experience.
  • Engage in some kissing, caressing and other light foreplay before sitting or lying next to each other. Keep the focus on yourself and enjoy the sexual energy that you are both creating without even touching one another. You can close your eyes or glance occasionally at your partner but keep your own enjoyment the focus.
  • If penetrative sex is not on the menu; consider making the mutual masturbation even more enticing by adding scented oils or a lubricant to the experience.
  • Some couples enjoy putting on an erotic movie to watch as they stroke themselves to orgasmic bliss.
  • If watching an erotic movie has no appeal for you, try adding some mood music, a few candles and either talk about your sexual fantasies, the last time you made love or simply how good stroking yourself feels.
  • A vibrator can also be used at this time.

4. Face each other. When you no longer feel sexually shy and vulnerable and are ready to share the self-pleasuring experience more fully with your partner; it is time to face each other.

  • Choose a place where both can either sit or lay comfortably with your heads on opposite ends. This will offer a titillating view of each other’s genitals.
  • If you are feeling a little exposed, dim the lights and consider keeping on an article of clothing; preferably something sexy.
  • If looking into each other’s eyes feels a tad awkward, try watching your partner’s hands or mouth; which can be quite arousing.
  • In the beginning, it is best to start by taking turns achieving orgasm. This enables both of you to pay attention to each other’s techniques and turn-ons. Another advantage of climaxing separately is you that can contribute to your partner’s arousal by talking, kissing and fondling their bodies while they self-pleasure. For example, a woman can caress her partner’s scrotum while he strokes himself or he can fondle and kiss her breasts while she stimulates her clitoris.
  •  Eventually, when you are more comfortable with each other, try to orgasm simultaneously. Often people have more control over when they are going to have an orgasm from manual stimulation than from intercourse or oral sex. They can slow down or speed up more easily.
  • When you are more familiar with one another, try telling your partner how you want them to touch themselves for a spicy change of pace.
  • Incidentally, there are no rules about only touching yourself during mutual masturbation. You can take over your partner’s territory and masturbate them. Sometimes that feeling of helping your lover climax when you are about to also can make you feel closer together and even more in sync than when having intercourse.
  • A vibrator can also be used at this time.

Mutual masturbation can be one of the most intimate and erotic experiences two lovers can share; bringing a new adventurous dynamic into their sexual play. By climaxing together couples will guarantee the release of the oxytocin; the hormone responsible for feelings of love and bonding and what can be more mutually beneficial than that? ♥

Have you ever indulged in mutual masturbation?

10 comments on “The Art of Mutual Masturbation

  1. Guinness

    Brilliantly written and extremely seductive and I highly encourage anyone to explore this exciting realm this blog perfectly describes. Some of my most intense reactions and orgasms have occured during mutual masturbation! More fun than you could imagine!

  2. The Passionate Wife Post author

    Well said Guiness and I concur. Mutual masturbation is an extremely pleasurable way in which couples can increase both trust and intimacy. :)

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  4. jjdub40

    What an amazing article & very enticing. This is so detailed & well written. Thank you for all the great content you provide. A true inspiration!

    1. Tracey Post author

      Wow…thank you so much for the wonderful compliments jjdub40! I am so happy you enjoyed the post. Truly. :D

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  6. guiness73

    Re-read this article and just wanted to add one of my favorite experiences with this was laying my head on her leg with my face close to her hand and clit while I enjoyed myself. So bonding, so powerfully stimulating, and just crazy wonderful! Not sure why this entices me as much as it does but just wanted to say how much I appreciate what you have written about this incredible facet of masturbation!

  7. J Rodney Roberts

    Wife and I made one attempt some time ago. With your article and comments of others, we will make this wonderful activity part of our intamacy. Thank you!

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